"Our body of ongoing research shows that people from working-class backgrounds tend to understand themselves as interdependent with and highly connected to others. Parents teach their children the importance of following the rules and adjusting to the needs of others, in part because there is no economic safety net to fall back on. Common sayings include “You can’t always get what you want” and “It’s not all about you”; values such as solidarity, humility, and loyalty take precedence.

In contrast, people from middle- and upper-class contexts tend to understand themselves as independent and separate from others. Parents teach kids the importance of cultivating their personal preferences, needs, and interests. Common sayings include “The world is your oyster” and “Your voice matters”; values such as uniqueness, self-expression, and influence take precedence."

I am watching this happen in the shift between how I was raised, and how we are raising boichik. Right now we are working hard with him on the art of knowing when not to ask, when not to complain, when not to express himself. That is to say, in our position, we must teach him *not* to persist... and I feel painfully aware of the potential long-term implications this could have for his chances of greater adult success.

http://trib.al/IiHkln0