"Ooo, Eema, here's an elevator that no one has peed in!"

- Yesterday, downtown

Maggot-Slug

OK, we have hit our first real snag with the "go ahead and let our home go to hell while staying away and healing" plan.

Maggot-slug.

Because hell hath abundant insect life.

Horrified Child: "How did this happen?!?"
Calm Adult: "This is just a normal part of life."
Tweaking Adult: "Not in clean homes, it isn't!"
Calm Adult [wisely switching horses midstream]: "And that's why we all need to work together to keep things clean."

Calm Adult: "Now that you've pointed it out, how about leaving it there and I'll see if I can figure out a way to deal with it sometime later?"
Tweaking Adult: "... That is so not even an option."

Calm Adult [leaning in the kitchen doorway]: "So, how has the rest of your day gone?"
Tweaking Adult [in the middle of dealing with maggot-slug]: "This is not the time."
[Sixty seconds later]
Child: "Could you please-?"
Calm Adult: "Learn from my mistakes, son. Don't go in there right now."
Tweaking Adult [scrubbing frantically]: "Maggot-slug! Not the time!"

Epilogue:
Calm Adult: "So, what do you think it was feeding on?"
Still-tweaking Adult: "NEGLECT."

Boichik is telling us the adventures of his new little rabbit figures. Apparently they are both thieves. Tatee asked what their names were, and I popped off "Bunny and Chives".

My man's got to be in a lot of pain today to have found that *that* funny.

"Please put the banana peel in the garage."
"Except this part."
"ALL unused parts of the banana go in the garbage now."
"I have a use for this part!"
"ALL BANANA GARBAGE NOW."
"I love you, Eema."

Adult [Holding box with new inhaler] "Wait-- did you hear--? [Shakes box, which rattles impressively.] "Do you think-- It is! It is! I know it is! There's a bag of 'Do Not Eat' in this! I've got another one!!!"

Other Adult: "Why do I ever spend money on you?"

"One of us needs to have a brain, other than the child, because his is devious."

4yo: "I'm cold."
Adult: "And why is that?"
4yo: "That's because I took my clothes off."
Adult: "And you are covered with ice cream?"
4yo: "Yeah."

House Meme

February 27th

"I am wondering how this avocado seed got in my bag."

"SNEAKILY! By the little rascal-- ME!!!"

---

March 1st

Adult: "Wha-- and how on earth did a second avocado seed get in my bag?!"
Child: "SNEAKILY!"

---
March 2nd

Adult1: "How did my house slippers end up on the floor in here?"
Adult2: "SNEAKILY!"

"Eema, please read me another book."
"You can see Eema is getting dinner on the table. Eema and Tatee need food now. Little boys need food, too."
"Little boys need books!"

"Happy Lovers' Day."
"That's Tu b'Av. Or tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"When all the chocolate goes on sale."

I am aware that the humor of this age is relentlessly scatological, but, I was not prepared for this level of inventiveness.

"And all clean?"
"Clean and naughty! Clean and naughty! Clean and naughty!"
"You have... a naughty butt-hole?"
"YEAH!"

10 minutes later:
"Bee's butt boy! Bee's butt boy! My butt is made out of honey-- I'm the bee's butt boy!"

"We'll cross that bridge when we're ready to burn it."

Heard in My Hiome

"Thank you for understanding.  And, there's a chicken puppet behind you."