Things for which I have zero forgiveness #1: Pens

Things for which I have zero forgiveness: Pens.  If you're a pen in my home and you don't lay down a reliable line of ink on the paper within the first two seconds of effort on my part, you are in the trash. I mediately.  I don't do shaking, I don't do tapping, I don't do air bubbles, I don't do letting it sit upside down, I don't do setting it aside while I try another one.  Pens, you have one job in my life and if you ever fail me, all chance of failing me again will be removed.  Pens that don't write = not worth the effort.